Activities for Couples: Building Communication and Intimacy
So often couples come to therapy to work on communication and building intimacy in their relationship. Couples struggle with how to do this, when to find the time, and where to get started.
Here are three activities that can be used at your leisure; they range anywhere from 15-minutes, to a full-length date night (or day) out together. These activities focus on couples’ relationships and provide a structure which helps foster communication, curiosity, and build emotional and physical intimacy.
But first:
Why is Curiosity important?
Curiosity is a vital factor for intimacy and communication in relationships. When we are curious, we are expressing interest, a desire to learn, and are attuned to the other’s response. This often means we listen openly and are not in “defense” or “assumption” mode. When you are curious, your partner will feel appreciated, valued, and heard. The more curious you are with your partner, the more you learn; and the more you learn about one another, the more connection and intimacy builds.
Why are dates important?
This might seem like a silly question. Dates help strengthen the bond between partners and illicit exciting energy in the relationship, which leads to higher relationship satisfaction. Having dedicated time to focus on each other without distractions, trying new things, and creating new memories with each other helps to foster novelty, excitement, and intimacy.
Activities to Foster Curiosity and Build Intimacy
Click on each title to follow the link, to start exploring ways to build curiosity and intimacy.
Best Self: Intimacy Deck
The Intimacy Deck is composed of 150 prompts and broken down into six categories. Using prompts can help alleviate the pressure of figuring out “what to talk about.” You and your partner can pick at random, focus on one category at a time, or even decide to choose one card a night/week to become part of your routine. When using these prompts, I like to suggest following up with an additional 1-3 curiosity questions to expand on learning more about your partner’s opinions, desires, and experiences.
Date Night Adventure
This includes 40 scratch-off date night ideas. Before scratching it off, each card has a brief description of the amount of time needed and budget for the surprise date. This can be a fun way to have days or nights out together! Keep in mind, if there are aspects of the description that feel like it isn’t feasible due to time, budget, location etc., it can be an opportunity for you and your partner to get creative and use parts of the suggestion or come up with alternatives. (There are other products similar to this - take a look to see what might be the best fit for your relationship!)
Love Languages Quiz
The Love Language quiz can be a great tool to learn more about yourself and your partner and the way each of you expresses and desires to receive love and connection. I love to suggest that instead of taking this quiz independently and sharing results, each person reads the questions to their partner, making it more interactive and another opportunity to practice curiosity and learn more about each other’s preferences!
